Tantra and the Mirrors of Relationship

The Power of Self Inquiry

Life and relationship present us with mirrors that enable us to see what we really are. When you see another sentient being you are actually viewing another expression of your true self. You are not as separate from other beings as it appears to your perception. The "other" sentient being you perceive is an expression of the same life force that you are, you both are, in many ways, a single expression, not multiple expressions.

This can be understood through inquiry into the emotional responses that others initiate in you. When direct and intensive inquiry is applied to any situation, we find that the emotion is tied to our own internal states and connected to our own issues, not those of the other.

Byron Katie wrote, "...you see who you are by seeing who you think other people are. Eventually you come to see that everything outside you is a reflection of your own thinking."

Anthony de Mello, a Jesuit priest who worked in India for many years before his death, wrote, "If you see through yourself, you will see through everyone. Then you will love them. Otherwise you spend the whole time grappling with your wrong notions of them, with your illusions that are constantly crashing against reality."

Krishnamurti wrote, "To look at ourselves very clearly, accurately, precisely, is only possible in the mirror of relationship; that is the only mirror we have. In the mirror of relationship you see what you are, if you allow yourself to see what you are."

The Tao Te Ching:

The sage has no fixed heart of her own

Those who look at her

see their own hearts

The sage lives in harmony with all below heaven

She sees everything as her own self

Gregg Braden, quoting sections of the Egyptian Desert Father, the Essenes, and the rare and obscure writings of "The Emerald Tablet of Toth" and "The Nag Hammadi Library" writes, "Today, your relationships have become your temples. You and your interactions with others have replaced the ancient structures..." And, "Relationships are your opportunity to see yourself in all ways. Each relationship mirrors a reflection of your beliefs, judgments, bias or lack thereof, as you interact with others." And, "When you find yourself reacting with a charge to the words, actions or life expression of someone else, there is a good possibility that you are experiencing a powerful opportunity to know yourself on a deep yet subtle level."