Tantra and Memory

The relationship between aspects of Tantra and present moment awareness is one of the fundamentals of the Tantric understanding. If you read magazines, regardless of their focus, there will often be an article on the ways to improve memory. Health food and drug stores have shelves full of memory enhancing herbs and potions.

Memory (though the finest minds in neuroscience have no idea what memory is nor how it functions) is considered an expression of intelligence and a capable mind.

However, memory function may be an impediment to sensuality and the experience of passion. Remember your first kiss? Remember the first time you made love? Remember the first time you made love to your spouse? Can you recall the passion and intimacy that was the beginning of your life together?

These memories, though clear and lucid, do not assist in the recovery of that experience. In fact, it is memory itself and the physical expression of memory, habit, that actually prevent the sensations that accompanied those first experiences.

When the passion wanes we convince ourselves of all kinds of reasonable theories. A few of these theories are that relationships evolve and change over time, that those sensations were juvenile and not indicative of maturity, that passion always wanes and is replaced with security and a deeper form of love.

Despite our intelligent theories we are often unable to convince ourselves and quite often find those passionate sensations outside of the security of our relationship. According to census statistics 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 end in divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages end in divorce. The three most common reasons for divorce are:

• Lack of commitment to the marriage
• Lack of communication between spouses
• Infidelity

As well as these statistics it might be assumed that other partners stay together and find the novelty of early passionate sensations through other channels, often by opening the marriage and/or increasing the arousal through visual and other sensory media.

Present moment awareness, one of the fundamental principles of a Tantric lifestyle, is a more "organic" way to enhance the intimacy and renew the passion that couples experienced in the early segment of their relationship.